Sunday, 27 April 2008

Conversation (5)

1. The trouble with these prescription sunglasses is I can see far away but I can't read the dashboard.

2. I suppose light sensitive ones would be best.

1. Well, no. If they went dark I still wouldn't be able to read the things on the dashboard.

2. Oh.

Conversation (4)

1. Right. J cloths, unobtainable in france, and bin liners. decent bin liners. Sponges definately.

2. I think we need more cornice moulding.

1. Are you talking about the attic windows?

2. Yes. More wood for them.

1. White paint.

2. yes, and a pull light switch.

1. it's a very short list.

2. We need some more wood for the attic door. 35 by 20 mm section of wood.

1. Which door?

2. The first door.

1. Where, in the attic?

2. Yes. ........ Read me the list.

1. jcloths, bin bags, sponges, moulding, white paint, pull light switch, wood 35 by 20 mm.

2. we could do with a new mop

1. right

2. what about soap and things?

1. there's spare there.

2. handwash in the kitchen?

1. we''ll need some.

2. put it on the list.

1. I have.

2. Tea towels, towels and sheets.

1. All clean and in the cupboard.

2. That's eveything?

1. I think so...yes.

2. Good. oh, we need to look at wood.

1. more wood?

2. wood flooring.

1. It might be difficult to bring out with us.

2. It'll fill the car up but we could bring it. Or buy it here.

1. It was cheap in that shop.

2. Four Euros a square metre.

1. Let's hope it will still be that cheap.

2. It wasn't a sale.

1.What? It's really that price all the time.

2. Yes.

1. A new duvet cover or a throw for those beds in the attic.

2. Yes. Bring a bit of colour to it.

1. Maybe some cushions too.

Conversation (3)

1. What was that by the side of the road?

2. Roadkill

1. The fur looked very nice.

2. A fox maybe?

1. Perhaps, it was very shiny.

2. Maybe a beaver?

1. Yes. Something like that.

Conversation (2)

1. Look at that pig. It's huge.

2. where?

1. In the field, there.

2. I can't see it. Is it near that bag?

1.What bag? There isn't a bag.

2. Right there.

1. That's the pig.

2. No, that's a bag.

1. Oh. It looked like a pig, I've been admiring it for ages.

2. Sac le Porc.

Conversation (1)

1. What does Christianne do all day?

2. I expect there is a fair amount of just pottering around.

1. Hmmmm

2. There is a lot of Brian minding.

1. Who?

2. Brian, the grandson. A lot of to-ing and fro-ing.

1. Yes.

2. And preserving fruits, making them into jam. And walking the dogs.


2. Making Allain exquist meals when he gets home from work.

1. A busy day then.

2. She's always very busy.

some drawings of mine

'View up inside a box'
'When the ghosts attacked me when I was sick'
'where do you keep your disease?'
'old woman face'
'scarecrows in a field'
'hate piece'
'talk about a hot toddy/ once I ate an apple'
'Theseus', illustration to accompany 'You Impress No One' Celia Winnett, 2008

'Allain's eye'
'The Old Man and the Bees', illustration to accompany short story, Celia Winnett, 2008


These are some funny pictures from a while ago. Hmmm, I look really strange with long hair and it creeps me out to see picture of it. Weird.

Bad Films

Liar Liar

My favourite bit in this film is when Max shows Jerry his cool BASEBALL STUFF present and Jerry says 'Hey great gift Dad!' and then Fletcher goes 'Thanks son.' It is so FUNNY.

It really is.

I also love it when Fletcher pretends to eat the present. That is just before Max shouts out 'BASEBALL STUFF' which also makes me laugh.

High School Musical (1)

My ultimate favourite bit in this film is when the basketball team have just said hi to Sharpay and Zeke says something about the ice queen coming back from the northpole and then Chad says 'and back from what she always does...' and everyone goes 'where?' then Chad says 'shopping for mirrors' and then entire basketball team goes 'oooooooooh' as though he has made the most cutting comment ever made. It is so funny.

Also I liked it when me and Annie watched it and changed the words and pretended that Troy wanted to be both a ball and a microphone. So funny.

High School Musical 2

What I really like in this film is how retarded Troy and Gabriella are, they could kiss about 1000 times but they are just idiots and then Taylor makes them break up by being such a stirrer. Ridiculous. I do love it though when Sharpay is talking to Ryan about the primo number one hotties at the school and then she goes 'Troy... Sharpay... Sharpay... Troy... Troypay' and it is so funny.


I'm not really sure where the bear thing started but for a long time now I've really liked bears. If I were an animal I would be a Freelance Dancing Bear in Fez and Waistcoat Ensemble. i've only ever seen bears in cages and zoos and dead in museums. I would like to see one running about in a river eating some salmon. I know it is really cruel but if I were a zoo keeper I would make the bears wear a fez and waistcoat ensemble.

Anyway here are some bear pictures I made on paint ages ago.

'Bear Running', Celia Winnett, 2006
'Dancing Bears', Celia Winnett, 2006
'All Danced Out Bear', Celia Winnett, 2006

'Oscar's Tea Party' Illustrations

A while ago I made some illustrations to write stories about. I only wrote one useable story from it but here are the pictures. I hope to go back to it one day and finish it. I printed the pictures into a book that is pretty great and I was going to handwrite the words over the top. That would only work with poems though.
'Damn Simon', 2007, This became an amusing short story about a writer who boasted about their ability to write during a party who's bluff got called.
'Giant Portrait', 2007, This was a shockingly bad fragment piece about a scary picture whose eyes followed you aroud. Not good, and it is an awful picture too.

'I hope you won't let me down at this year's dinner dance, my dear... or Wifely Words', 2007, This was a love story I wrote about two elderly bears. It was rather lovely, I am putting it in a competition soon.
'Betty, Better to be Older', 2007, This became a poem that used the letter 'b' a lot. I am not sure why she is bleeding all over the place though.
'Birthday Explosions', 2007, This became a fragment piece of a parent recallng their child's birthday party when the candles blew up the cake decorations, based upon my own first birthday.

'Oscar's Tea Party', 2007, This was a story which documented the guests at Oscar's Tea Party. It was pretty funny. I might look at that again soon.

Saturday, 26 April 2008

Backstage (original)

Combing and combing and curling and crimping and caressing their long silky hair.

Rouged cheeks and whited faces.

Comb teeth glide and hands smooth hair.

Ribbed ribbons and blacked eyes decorating, with pearl beads and beads of sweat.

Combing and combing and curling and crimping the hair back from their faces.

Pinned into place.

The women are ready to dance.

Car Bother

Charles was strapped into his car seat,
Seb was sat in the front.
I was climbing through the car, over the handbrake. crunch.

Ever so slowly,
yet ever so fast,
we stood and watched as the car drove past.

Seb and I got out and pushed,
but Charles was still in there,
strapped to his seat,
and all I could see were his hammering feet
as he tried to break through the glass of the car
whilst trapped safely secure inside his chair like a dinosaur trapped in the tar.

beef- one side of a conversation

"In answer to your earlier question, no, I don't eat beef."...

"It's for no particular reason. I'm just a bit fussy."...

"No, I don't eat mince either."

U-G-L-Y I ain't got no alibi...

The ugliest photographs of me EVER>>>>>>>>>

other faces

other faces that I have seen or made.


My face has been seen by many eyes. Here are some of my favourite versions of my face.

'2 Monkeys' Catherine Weir, 2008
'Monster' Jessica Louise Gale, 2007
'Jeremy Beadle and Child', M. G. Degnoote, 1989
'Celia', Catherine Weir, 2008
'True Love/ Ceemo', Gemma Mannion, 2008

'Face', Nadia Rossi, the artiste, 2008
'Chicken Rotisserie', Nadia Rossi, 2008

'Scanned', collaborative work between Celia Winnett, Graeme Plunkett, Nadia Rossi and Catherine Weir, 2008

Magazine pictures

'So addicted to sex I became a porn star', Celia Winnett, 2008
'Thanks for asking me to the prom', Celia Winnett, 2008

'Wedding Reception', Celia Winnett, 2008
'This season's must have accessories', Celia Winnett, 2008
'My giant cyst had eyes and teeth', Celia Winnett, 2008
'...and I woke up and half of my hair was just gone...', Celia Winnett, 2008
'He smeared stinky fish all over my things', Celia Winnett, 2008

Pictures I made.