Thursday, 26 June 2008




1. Pour the water into a pot and boil it. When the water is boiling putting noodles into the pot.

2. Use chopsticks to stir the noodles slightly about three to five minutes, and then the noodles are already boiled. Don't pour cold water into the pot in the case that boiled water spills, but turn down the fire instead.

3. Put the boiled noodles into cold water and get rid of the water. When it is done, you can blend any kind of seasoning you like into noodles. It depends on you. If you like, you can make soup noodles, dried noodles, fried noodles and cold noodles with sauce.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Ten Things I have done to CGSW.

1. Came up with witty name alternative i.e Charles Guy Sloane Winnett became Charles Gay Slow Winnett.
2. Pissed on CGSW when he was an infant.
3. Put bogeys on CGSW when he was an infant.
4. Tried to (according to Grandmother (EBS)) "murder" CGSW by pushing finger into his chest a.k.a a small child not understanding how press studs work i.e one sided pushing can be seen as pre-meditated, cold blooded killing; pushing from both sides is assisting with dressing of younger sibling post bubblebath.
5. Chased CGSW around house with faeces on hand.
6. Let CGSW fall head first into gap between parents bed frame and parents matress and left him there.
7. Assisted in "charles torture" including the time CGSW was locked out of the house, alone and tied to a chair with walking sticks stuck into his trouser legs and jumper sleeves thus imposing a high level of immobility.
8. Tested the strength and bravery of CGSW by putting pegs on his face.
9. Forced CGSW to be key componant in amatuer productions such as "cartoon title songs dance" and "My favourite film scenes" and various 'gymnastic' displays.
10. Told mum when little brother had skived off school after helping him forge a note from "dad" which got him into even more trouble just because I could.

Conversation (6)

1. The view from this window is sensational.

2. yes.

1. Though it is quite chilly. There is a terrible draught coming from it.

2. That's because the window is open.

1. It really is very chilly.

2. Because the window is open. The wind is coming through the open window.

1. They should fix that.

2. closing it perhaps?

1. Maybe you could take a look at it. See what you can do.

2. (Closes window)

Sunday, 8 June 2008

Waikiki Zoo Pamphlet


The monkey is a crap animal. The only reason we have any here is because people expect monkeys in zoos.

I hate birds too.

This is a brontosaurus, it is not a snake. Dinosaurs are great. This particular dinosaur is called Antoby. He is actually just a model and not a real dinosaur.

Toby Stephens
Toby Stephens is a terrible actor who has a barrel for a body. He is Professor McGonagal's son.

Dancing Bears
Dancing bears are very rare and these almost human like bears are made from other bears.
Dancing bears are very protective of their fez/ waistcoat ensembles and clean them frequently.
NEVER anger a bear when it is washing it's fez. All dancing bears share the same favourite dance song 'Say Say Say (Waiting 4 U)' by Hi Tack.

We have currently only four bumans in residence. Bumans are a highly endagered species of celebrity and are bred only in captivity (for control purposes).
Currently we have Bill Oddie (Billiam Bumoddie), Kris Acabussi (Kris Accabuman), Jim Carey (Jimus Bumey) and Terry Jones (Terry Jones) who has been affectionately named 'Tel' by the other bumans.
A buman is a hybrid between a human celebrity and a bird. They can not fly, though they have flown. They have yellow feet and so are camoflagued from the foot down in yellow terrains. Bumans always have their hands in their pockets.


"That bird was nowhere near your eyeballs"

"If people who go to art galleries are supposed to be sophisticated why do they have to pee all over the seat and I have to hover when I have sore legs."

Snow Lyrics

Where is the snow? Where could it be?
Why has it not snowed here recently?

Why is it so cold but not in the sky to make the rain into some snow...
oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh oh

Snow is made of rain that gets right cold and turns into some ice and then it falls down from the sky aye aye aye.

When it lands upon the groud it sticks to stuff like cars and horses but also things that do not move. Like houses. Snow is fun to play around in, make snow angels throw at people.
Taste the freshness, eat the snow but do not touch the stuff that's yellow.

Snow snow snow
there's no snow snow

January Lyrics

Jan January, Jan January,
it's not a month to be happy in.

Jan January, Jan January,
In fact it's not a real month at all.

It's cold (it's cold)
it's grey (it's grey)
it's not a very good month I say.
It's sad (It's sad)
it's blue (it's blue)
I hate January, do you?

bom boma bom ba.

Jan January, Jan January,
it's not a month to be happy in.

Jan January, Jan January,
In fact it's not a real month at all.