Thursday, 24 July 2008

Do you give your cups names?

From left to right; Picasso, Anne of Green Gables, Nelson (Photograph by Slave Cup from Artist's own collection)
Unavailable for photograph; Naked Cup and Scar Spoon.

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

New Home Greeting Card

Dead Bees
Smell of beef and cheese
All the things that greeted me as I walked through the door.

Birthday Gift List

For my birthday I got
a haircut and some
shampoo and
money and a
dvd some
chalk a
make your own candy jewellery set a
coat a
candle and a
pen a
makeup bag and also a

A jumper from France

Ali is wearing a french jumper.
That is to say a jumper from france.
That is to say the jumper speaks French
but only to some people. Not to you, just to me.

Bonjour le jumper.
Bonjour mademoiselle.
Ca va bien?


I'll stay here- don't worry.
What is there to worry about?
I'll look after your bag.
No one will steal anything.
I won't let them.

No one will kill you. Though I wouldn't mind if they did.


I drew a picture of my friend,
his face was pencil drawn,
his skin rubbed out and then rubbed in.
I drew a picture of my friend.
It looked nothing like him.

Clown Eyes

Clown eyes
Town spies
Apple pies
All lies
I saw a circus man in town selling apples.
It was a move I was willing to make. From one room to another. And so I set about, I packed my desk into a few boxes. I packed my files into one. My books and cds, dvds videos etc went into a further couple of boxes and my clothes into a suitcase and bag.
A box of photographs from my childhood. I search through them remembering a photograph of my family. I find it. I search our faces, For fun, for happiness. Still there. Caught in that moment of childhood pleasure- a family united by celluloid. But caught, as well, in one corner, coming from behind a tree. An old man sneaking. Pulling a small child. And in this age of anxiety I immeadiately thought the worst.
Then I made jokes about it.

An episode of ER

Turbulent blood flow.
Small hole upper chambers of the heart.
Right side to the left side of the heart.
If you had heard the murmur? Speculation.
Did you ignore the importnat warning signs of stoke?
Is it true you could have detected the stoke?
Commercial Break.

Conversation (7)

1. I see you are wearing your new t-shirt.
2. Yes.
1. But I also see you are wearing it incorrectly.
2. (pause) what?
1. You are wearing it wrong.
2. How, exactly?
1. You are wearing it tucked into your trousers.
2. Oh.
1. Which are bow fronted.
2. Oh.
1. You are dressed like an old man. That is a young t-shirt ad you are wearing it tucked in. You look like Roger from next door. You look like an old, old man.
2. Well, I'n not that bothered because I actually am an old man.
1. You look like it.
2. But I don’t mind that because I am an old man.
1. Well you look like one. (pause) It wouldn't be so bad if the top button of your trousers wasn’t missing. You are only one step away from indecent exposure.
2. If my trousers fell down it would indecently expose that not only is my t-shirt tucked int my trousers but it is also tucked into my underpants. Which is even more indecent and aging I presume.
1. Maybe you should have a bit of t-shirt sticking through the open fly to seal the deal. officially making you a creepy old man.
2. But if I untucked my T-shirt none of this would be an issue? I would instantly look younger and not like a pervert, despite the fact that my face, clothes stance etc would be exactly the same? That if my shirt was untucked we wouldn't have a problem.
1. Yes.
2. (tucks shirt in further)