Waikiki Zoo Pamphlet

Monkey

The monkey is a crap animal. The only reason we have any here is because people expect monkeys in zoos.

Birds
I hate birds too.

Dinosaur
This is a brontosaurus, it is not a snake. Dinosaurs are great. This particular dinosaur is called Antoby. He is actually just a model and not a real dinosaur.

Toby Stephens
Toby Stephens is a terrible actor who has a barrel for a body. He is Professor McGonagal's son.

Dancing Bears
Dancing bears are very rare and these almost human like bears are made from other bears.
Dancing bears are very protective of their fez/ waistcoat ensembles and clean them frequently.
NEVER anger a bear when it is washing it's fez. All dancing bears share the same favourite dance song 'Say Say Say (Waiting 4 U)' by Hi Tack.

Bumans
We have currently only four bumans in residence. Bumans are a highly endagered species of celebrity and are bred only in captivity (for control purposes).
Currently we have Bill Oddie (Billiam Bumoddie), Kris Acabussi (Kris Accabuman), Jim Carey (Jimus Bumey) and Terry Jones (Terry Jones) who has been affectionately named 'Tel' by the other bumans.
A buman is a hybrid between a human celebrity and a bird. They can not fly, though they have flown. They have yellow feet and so are camoflagued from the foot down in yellow terrains. Bumans always have their hands in their pockets.